Wondering when the involuntary swaying stops?

So I've returned home safe and sound from my Alaskan cruise. I've been rudely awakened back into normal life because every time I walk into my kitchen, I never find an endless array of food waiting for me to enjoy. Sheesh. A week of unprecedented luxury makes it pretty rough when arriving back home. You mean I'm going to have to resume with making my own bed and cleaning up after myself? What's that all about? 

Anyway, the moral of the story is: I had fun. And I acquired me some sea legs! The only problem is that I can't seem to find my land legs now. One of the nights a storm arose. Since I have nothing to compare it with, it was a really big one. Our ship rocked, tipped, swayed and tottered. All night long. I found it to be quite enjoyable for many reasons. First, it rocked me right to sleep like I was an infant child again, and secondly, it made for some sweet moves up in the night club. No one even needed to move—yet we were all over that dance floor like John Travolta. And then, trying to get around anywhere was often impeded by involuntary detours to the right, and then to the left, and then to the right again, and so on. I will admit that I got up close and personal with many a wall. And since I have a stomach cast in iron, seasickness is only something I hear others talk about. The only real problem I've experienced from that storm is that I'm still swaying. I'm not kidding—I'm sitting here at my computer and my whole body just shifted over to the right. It's like my brain's been knocked loose and it's just sloshin' around up there.

So here's some big highlights from my cruise. I'll do my best to list the most important to least important. That way those of you who taper off in the middle of my ramblings won't have to worry that you're missing out on a single thing.

1. My boss treated us all to a helicopter ride over the mountains of Juneau—that landed smack dab on top of the Mendenhall Glacier. It was by far one of the neatest things I've ever done. Tour guides eagerly rattled off lots of glacier facts, but I was entirely too busy oogling the crystal-blue water everywhere to pay attention. It was beautiful. After everything was said and done, I could literally feel my individual "coolness" level rising a few notches. Plus, I got to wear moon boots.

Okay, so this felt a little freaky. It seemed like I was standing on really thin ice...yet our informative guides told us that it stretched down, well—had I been listening—I could enlighten everybody.

2. Along with the crazy scrapbooking group on board, our cruise's community was mainly populated by the geriatric ward. And cross dressers. On occasion, geriatric cross dressers. It did come as quite a shock when I saw a man/woman—had to be 60 or 70—zip right on past me on his/her Rascal. I saw six cross dressers total, but I believe the reigning number spotted was 12. And speaking of old people on their scooters, here's an entertaining story. I was enjoying lunch with some others from my group in a quaint little restaurant in the port of Ketchikan, when suddenly our table and chairs received a fairly significant jolt by a man—on his scooter—who had had one too many bottles of beer and had rammed right into us. He sloppily slurred an apology, proceeded to back up his Rascal, and then slowly mosied his way onto the streets of Ketchikan—where I'm sure no one was safe.

3. All week long I was set on seeing a whale. I even stood up in the icy cold evening weather for over an hour during a designated "whale watch," which proved to be entirely fruitless. So as the week past, I gave up hope, but finally spotted one the day before the cruise ended. Although it didn't jump out of the water and wave at me as I would have preferred, I did get to see it blow out of its blowhole. Neat, huh? No picture though, unfortunately. I also saw a bunch of bald eagles in several of the ports. I also saw a bear, less than five feet away from me. Yep—it was in a jacuzzi up on deck 14.

I did not take this picture. The camera I had did not have this nice of a zoom. One of the girls I was with caught this one.

4. We cruised up the Tracy Arm fjord. If anyone would ever like to be filled with awe over this earth's creation, I'd recommend visiting here.

5. I had french toast every morning for breakfast. Along with about 20 other items.

6. I managed to get lost on the ship at least three times every day. (I wish I could say that was an exaggeration.) This usually occurred when I was searching for a bathroom. I've formed a theory that bathrooms on cruise ships secretly move from place to place. I also was pretty talented at accidently entering my cabin's hallway on the complete opposite end, which resulted in a mile long walk to get to the other side each time. This happened so often that I'd really rather not bring it up ever again.

7. The crafting classes and activities were viewed as a huge success, and the ladies were quite pleased. I appreciated the opportunity to get to know a few of the people I work with much better as well.

I took about a billion pictures in all. I'll post a bunch more on Facebook once I get them all organized. It really was quite a week—but I am very happy to be home.

P.S. I'm very peeved by the tight line space in this post. Who knows how to fix it?