Wednesday, January 6, 2010

This is no reflection on what kind of parents we'll be. I promise.

Tom and I have a fish tank. With fish.























(I cannot provide a real picture because our camera has taken an indefinite sick leave over a serious case of lazy eye.)

See, my mother gave me a small-galloned fish tank as a birthday gift the summer before Tom and I got married. I think it was her last attempt to help me fit in with all the rest of my family members. (kidding.)

Here's the deal: My family (or, a large amount of them) are fish people. It's this weird kick they all got into a while back. Before long, fancy-pancy salt water fish tanks and reef tanks were popping up all over in households throughout the family. Marine life lingo quickly became all the rage. Every family function for a good two years always involved riveting discussions on water salinity, host anemones, and crustaceans. Riveting, I tell you.

Now, to avoid coming off completely unappreciative, I do think reef tanks are gorgeous. And I'll pin my nose against the glass of a pretty tank with the best of them. But you try bringing a boy home to meet a family full of aquatic linguists.

Where was I going? ...Did I mention we have fish? That's right—soon after we were married we headed to PetSmart and eagerly purchased some colorful rocks, fake plants, and three spry little guppies. Later we added two more little algae sucker-type guys. Eat your heart out, reef tank.

Over a year later—down two fish—the three remaining seem to still be, amazingly, faring quite nicely. But here's where the story turns dark. We've become alarmingly neglectful fish owners. Things started to really go down hill, ironically or nonironically enough, around the same time period that I began dealing with first-trimester woes. I haven't cleaned the tank since before our cruise. Our poor algae-eating machine is no doubt bitterly grumbling about his abundance of unpaid overtime. Plus, water levels usually lower a lot faster than I remember to add more. And don't even ask me to name the last time I changed the filter to their water pump. It's grim, folks.

But the nice lady at PetSmart told us that a good, healthy guppy will usually last about 8 months. Apparently, we had no idea we were purchasing super guppies. I'll admit, when we returned from our Christmas vacation in Idaho, we heaved a flabbergasted sigh to find all three fish—still—wagging their shaggy caudal fins to welcome us home.

5 comments:

Kris said...

Hey! We don't have that kind of luck with guppies, and we take care of our tank. Say, maybe that's the answer........
What's wrong with this picture?

thekerrclan said...

I think neglecting your tank -- and adding 4 goldfish from the Primary carnival (EACH YEAR!) is the secret to success. That an a saber-tooth tiger skull covered in algae. Our tank is a beauty...literally! And we didn't spend thousands!

Unknown said...

I had to laugh at this post, because I've gone through my fair share of fish (betas), mostly because I become lazy and forget to clean their water and then mysteriously they belly-up after I clean the water...Sadly my latest one to go was dear little Walter Cronkite, purchased the day his namesake passed. I insisted on turning off the heat to our apt, to save money, while we spent Christmas at my parents' and came home to find I had frozen Walter to death. I definitely think I'm going to win Mother of the Year award someday!

lyndsey said...

lol. you have SUPER fish?? awesome. yes, let's hope your baby isnt subjected to living in her own waste ;)

Mad Hadder said...

Do you think your camera is the lone fatality of the skiing outing??

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