Monday, March 8, 2010

But what do I know anyway?

In recent weeks, I've taken a break from all the normal books I'd like to read to absorb myself in three baby books. I took a hiatus from 1776 specifically for the cause.












Mostly they've just left me feeling overwhelmed, although, I haven't finished the third one yet. In fact, I haven't put a very big dent it it because, ironically enough, I keep falling asleep every time I pick it up. I'm certain it's not a reflection on the content so much as it is a reflection on the fact that I'm just plum tired lately.

Anyway, here's my unsophisticated review.

Babywise was recommended to me by many-a-mom. So I chose to read it first. I particularly agreed with the book's first point—that a baby thrives best when the relationship between mom and dad is the first priority between a mom and dad, and that babies need to know they are not the center of the home but rather a part of a whole. But beyond that, I found myself stressing while I read it, because while they seemed to preach flexibility in their method, I found their approach really quite rigid. No, I do not agree with some of the outrageous reviews floating around out there, calling the book "dangerous" or "inhumane." In fact, I believe that anyone who reviewed it that way probably didn't really get the point. I guess ultimately I can see myself getting too worked up and worried if the routine it suggests doesn't work magically the way the authors claim it will. Maybe it's just new-mother nerves.

Baby Makes Three had some good suggestions for keeping marriage strong after a baby arrives. I wanted to read it for me especially, because I can definitely see myself falling into the trap of making our baby my number one priority and leaving Tom Thomas to the vicious, ferocious wolves. Some of the book's suggestions didn't seem like they would apply too much to Tom and I. We're not exactly a text book couple. But who is, right? I particularly enjoyed the chapter advocating the need for fathers. I thought it was interesting to learn that males and females inherently interact with a child in different ways; and both manners are extremely beneficial.

Perhaps I shouldn't give a review of a book I haven't completed yet, but so far I've liked the suggestions I've read in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It just seems to be sitting better with me than Babywise. (If only I could read more than two pages at a time before zonking out.) Its suggestion of putting a baby to bed early and before he or she is showing signs of tiredness makes good sense to me, but seems a lot easier said than done. Yet parts of this book have caused some anxiety as well. Especially when it lists all the ill effects bad sleep habits in infancy have on life later. Kind of leaves me feeling like if we don't get our child's sleep spot-on she'll grow up to be a wreck. Yes, I'm being dramatic, and yes, it's probably just new-mother nerves again. And I should probably finish the book before I say anything more.

The end.

7 comments:

thekerrclan said...

I quit reading the books (and although recommended...never read Babywise). My favorites were the "What to expect..." books - but I think I quit that before the whole labor and delivery chapters as well. (I guess I am just a quitter.)

No fears -- you'll be amazing parents. And I don't care what anyone says -- LOVE is the most important thing...for your marriage and your baby.

Have a wonderful day - -and get in a good nap.

Tracy Giles said...

You will definitely figure out what works best with your baby and part of that is knowing what kind of baby you have. Lily absolutely needed a routine - so babywise was great. Harrison has been very different. However, the one thing that I don't like is when a book says when a baby should or should not be sleeping through the night. Both of my kids were sleeping through the night early on (3-5 months) and they are very healthy and happy. That has been the only thing that really irritates me about some of the other books. Babywise gave me the confidence I needed to get my kids sleeping through the night early - something I believe to be absolutely fine despite what any other book says. I do not do well without sleep. We are a happier family (kids included) when they are sleeping through the night earlier on - that's just us though. You will see what kind of baby you have and then you will act accordingly. The great thing is, you can do it however you want. You don't even have to go by the advice of a book. I have yet to find a book that I agree with 100%.

Let's plan to get together at the end of the summer so our girls can meet!! I would say we should go to Moab again, but I don't know how much the other campers would appreciate two babies waking up in the middle of the night :)

Audra said...

The only one of those that I read was Babywise and I liked it. I really liked the part about eat, play then sleep. It works well for my baby.

Mad Hadder said...

I don't want to break my perfect no-advice streak. Ah heck--here I go. No wait. I have absolutely nothing to say!! Really? Yes, really. Nothing. No advice, just a statement: You just do it.

Chad and Amber said...

I read the Babywise book a couple months after Rylee was born, hoping that me reading it would magically make her sleep better. I tried their routine for a few weeks, and it was miserable.... I have friends who swear by it, but it didn't work for me. Every kid is different.

Kris said...

I am so glad that I had all my kids before these books came out! Go with "mother's instinct." (However, for a long time my Bible was 'Children, the Challenge' by Rudolph Dreikers. I know you are saying, "Who???")

You and Thomas will be great parents. Your Little Ping is a very lucky girl!

Shelly said...

I know I told you I used the Sleep Habits book all the time. I should told you HOW I use it. I haven't actually read the whole book through and I've used it for two kids. I think it is mainly supposed to be used as a reference book. For example, read the section for the age that your child is currently and it will help you figure out what sleep habits are common for that age group. Trust me, when you can't figure out why your kid isn't sleeping/napping or you need a break from zombieland, you'll be running for this book.

I've also heard the "eat, play, sleep" routine. I didn't know that was from Baby Wise. That one is a natural routine that is easy to use. You can also follow it with "me time" because we all know that when baby sleeps, it is break time for mama.

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