I'm not sure if this is normal for a married couple, but Tom and I are highly competitive with each other.
Actually—it's all Tom. If you're acquainted with the Tom Thomas, then you know precisely what I mean. Tom can bring the competitive side out of anyone—out of a peace-keeping dove (like me), if you will. So quite obviously, I have no choice but to participate.
It's always over really important stuff, too. Like, for example, the last time we went on a walk together (back in the pre-Clara-hoping-to-bring-Clara days) we had a competition to see who could accurately guess how many cats we'd see while strolling through a nearby neighborhood.
Naturally, he cheated.
If you're ever roped into one of Tom's games—know this. He cheats. He preaches a "no tolerance policy" on cheating, but oh does he cheat.
The little rascal.
The summer before we got married held another fierce competition. We each bet each other that we could out-tan the other by the end of August. Had I known then that Tom's skin is capable of attracting the sun inside during a rainstorm, I wouldn't have even bothered putting my pasty white flesh up against such unbeatable odds. But it didn't matter anyway because Tom ended up disqualifying me. (Okay, sometimes I cheat too.) Forgetting to wash your hands after applying Jergens Natural Glow is a dreadful oversight when you're in the middle of a tanning competition.
So this summer Clara and I have been enjoying some lovely walks together. And we don't even bother with trying to count cats—we just enjoy the scenery. Or, I do. She usually honk shoos the whole time. Well. The other day I happily noticed that some color had collected itself on the ghost-like arms I've been sportin' for the past ten months. And, gee, I couldn't help but flaunt the bronzy things in front of him.
"You're not trying to start that up again, are you?" He said.
I gave my oh-so-familiar "please" look, and said, "Like I'd even bother."
...
(Except that, I totally plan to.)
4 comments:
I hope you win!! You guys crack me up!
Tom won a unicycle in a family juggling contest. And we lost count of his coloring contest prizes. He IS competitive, but I think you've got him on the bronzing thing. He's not grounds crew boy any longer!
I will beat Thomas in anything, anytime, anywhere. Let the games begin. He knows this too, which makes it all the more fun.
Tag. Foot race. We'll meet at Grand Juction, that's right in the middle. 100 meter dash. I'll even give you ten meters to start.
And Seaz! I am not that competitive! I could probably think of more times when I'm not competitive. In fact, you count up all the times I am, and I'll count up all the times I'm not and we'll compare. I'm totally gonna blow you out of the water on this one.
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